Reporting Scotland staff IQ scores fall after rat dropping fungus found in Pacific Quay


(c) Graven

A medical investigation into lowering IQ scores of leading staff at the BBC Scotland ‘state-of-the-art’ media centre on the Clyde, has thrown-up (literally) traces of a rat dropping fungus in the saliva of unnamed but senior editors, presenters and reporters.

The fungus contains the bacterium ‘staffillicoccus unionitispropagandis’ which is known to cause a generalised anxiety leading to irrational defensiveness of untenable thoughts or behaviours. Professor Juan Robertonovo of the School of Tropical Diseases at the University of the West of South-America (UWS) has studied the effects of the bacterium among indigenous tribes in the Amazon rainforests. He found that, when affected, victims were more likely to seek the reassuring continuity of political control by the military dictatorship and to deny any rape, pillage or plunder that younger members of the tribe wanted to protest against.

Naemeritus Professor John ‘Whatson?’ Robertson, has suggested this might explain a number of recent incidents where Reporting Scotland staff have clearly forgotten any classes they may have had on how to read research reports. These are just a few:

BBC Scotland and BMA collude to produce a classic NHS scare story based on shoddy, unreliable, research

Retired Professor fails BBC Reporting Scotland Editor on Organised Crime research

BBC Scotland News misuses research findings to lie and scare about drug use in Scotland

BBC Scotland uses a handful of anecdotes from only three customers to suggest ScotRail has serious problems that are not evident from proper research

Is this a first? Reporting Scotland’s editor apologises fully for errors in reporting on alleged school exclusions of children with autism

Is BBC Scotland’s promotion of call to reduce number of children in care dangerously ill-informed?

 BBC Complaint on coverage of obesity – progress?

Cancer mortality rates fall 10% but Reporting Scotland ignore it

As religious hate crime soars by 40% in one year in England and Wales, Reporting Scotland struggles to keep up

A new sickening low for Reporting Scotland

Always wash your hands!



17 thoughts on “Reporting Scotland staff IQ scores fall after rat dropping fungus found in Pacific Quay

  1. Scott January 21, 2019 / 9:30 am

    Oh your naughty but I like it.
    Many a true word was said in jest,keep it up John.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Stan Wilson January 21, 2019 / 10:53 am

    Waxing lyrically, love the style, brilliant. 😉😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • johnrobertson834 January 21, 2019 / 11:15 am

      Thanks. Too kind.Trying not to think of that modern form of waxing. Ouch!


  3. johnrobertson834 January 21, 2019 / 11:17 am

    86 people have read this so far.None have doubted the accuracy of my evidence.


  4. Charles Maitland January 21, 2019 / 11:20 am

    I believe your article more than I believe anything Reporting Scotland produce. Love it John, keep it going.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Contrary January 21, 2019 / 12:37 pm

    None have doubted your accuracy….? of which part exactly!! 😀

    “… the bacterium ‘staffillicoccus unionitispropagandis’” I will give you that as an excellently clever pun, but I am not happy about the part where you say ‘fungus contains the bacterium’ – sounds like you are on weeebly ground there.

    I believe you have a valid argument about the IQ scores falling though.


    • William Henderson January 21, 2019 / 1:40 pm

      Aye, Contrary – but this is an Amazonian fungus and I’m told that down there anything goes….:-)

      Liked by 1 person

      • johnrobertson834 January 21, 2019 / 2:09 pm

        I have it on good authority. Probably best not to have it at all.


    • Contrary January 21, 2019 / 4:36 pm

      Well, I’m not totally up to date with this story – but a quick type into the internet search engine – ‘Pigeon poo’ gets me a few newspaper articles and it seems to be they are blaming the fungus Cryptococcus – that’s not a bacterium (though Staphyloccocus is, so I’ll let you off so you could get a decent pun in there). I think the ‘coccus’ part is… oh I don’t know actually, ’round bits’ or something? Disease causing? I’m not up on human fungal infections – but it’s usually the yeast phase (fungi can have a VERY complicated sex life) that cause infection.

      Anyway, in general fungi and bacteria don’t hang out together a lot – they belong to two completely different Kingdoms, after all. That’s why I was skeptical, but if it’s from the amazon… as william says, anything goes 😀


  6. Ludo Thierry January 21, 2019 / 5:59 pm

    Just because this article has a ‘medical’ aspect I am sharing this piece I noticed in The Courier regarding Mary Queen of Scots’ early (by 300 years) version of The Geneva Convention by her letter enshrining in Scots’ Law that the medical personnel of her day couldn’t be forced to bear arms in warfare. See Scotland – See Civilised or What?: snippets and link below:

    Historic documents have been released showing Mary Queen of Scots protected surgeons from going into battle, paving the way for the Geneva Convention 300 years before it came into force.

    The Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh (RCDEd) revealed the letters to coincide with the release of a BAFTA-nominated film about the fascinating royal.

    In the paperwork, Mary Queen of Scots enshrined in law that surgeons should not be made to bear arms in battle, to allow them to care for the wounded.

    Dated May 1567, the letter of exemption was written almost 300 years before the first Geneva Convention protected surgeons from warfare.

    Signed ‘Mary by the Grace of God, Queen of Scots’, the letter is thought to be from the Queen for the whole population.
    It puts a responsibility upon surgeons, writing that they must always be “present with our armies ready to do their cure and duty to all sick persons.”

    Chris Henry, director of heritage at RCSEd, said: “This unique artefact is one of the college’s treasured possessions.

    “It gives us a fantastic insight into the ethics and civilisation of 16th century Scotland, as well as the standing of surgeons in the capital back then.”

    It rules out surgeons “for the weale of the realme… fra bering of armoure or passing in battell… provyding… that thai be put with oure armyis reddie to do thair cure and dewitie to all sic personis as sall have mister tharof.”

    Civilised Past – Britnat Present – Civilised Future – Simple really.


  7. Ludo Thierry January 21, 2019 / 6:13 pm

    Another wee bit of good news to keep us all going in these dark britnat days (and nights): Link and snippet below (carried on beeb Scotland amazingly):

    The remains of two Native American people are to be returned to Canada from Scotland.

    The skulls of Beothuk chief Nonosbasut and his wife Demasduit came were acquired by the National Museum of Scotland in the 1850s.

    A request came from the Canadian government last year was given legal endorsement by the Scottish government.

    The museum’s board of trustees will now transfer the remains to the Canadian Museum of History in Ottawa.

    Various nations involved – and quietly achieving a small, civilised, end to a wrong – Well Done Scotland, Well Done Canada, Well Done the Beothuk Nation.


    • Contrary January 22, 2019 / 8:54 am

      Excellent news Ludo – too many things stolen from other lands, there is no excuse for keeping them.


  8. annraynet January 22, 2019 / 7:01 pm

    Where would that leave the British Museum? They could send the Elgin Marbles back to Greece for a start, then there’s loads of Egyptian and Assyrian stuff. Mind you, the latter might be safer where it is for now.


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