Rich Chancellor, Head of State and Head of Army
Head of Air Force and Imperial Commissioner for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland Territories
Just in, a well-organised and armed group made up of members of the European Research Group, the DUP, the English Defence League and the Livingston True Blues flute Band has stormed the House of Commons, MI5 and the BBC HQ in London, declaring Britain a one-party state, renamed New England, with Princess Michael as Head of State and Jacob Rees-Mogg as Chancellor.
Led by Tommy Robinson and Billy Mitchell, the insurgents were briefly unnerved by the authority of the speaker who shouted ‘Order, order, siiiit down!!!’ but after Arlene Foster biffed him, ‘New order’ was imposed. No serious opposition was given at MI5 or BBC HQ’s.
Billy Bragg has told us ‘I wasn’t looking for that!’
Note: Ruth Davidson and Ross Thomson have not been included because TuS doesn’t consider them quite nasty enough for this.