Kilmarnock, new leaders of the Scottish Foremaist Division
In the wake of recent events, an internal coup within the SPFL has resulted in major restructuring. Led by the League’s Ethics and Identity spokeswoman, Flora MacDonald, the Strategy Committee has voted by a majority to the following changes:
- The new league will be titled the Scottish Foremaist Division.
- Clubs removed due to fans’ repeated adoption of foreign flags – Celtic, Rangers.
- Clubs promoted: Falkirk, Dundee United, Ayr United, Partick Thistle.
- Celtic and Rangers fans to be awarded free season tickets for any one alternative club of their choice for one year.
- Celtic and Rangers fans to be awarded free scarves and other paraphernalia from any one alternative club of their choice.
- Partick Thistle to be renamed Glasgow Caledonian Partick Thistle.
- Michael Stewart to be appointed Chief Executive.
- Kris Boyd to be appointed Fitness Coach.
- Steven Thompson to be appointed Dress Coach.
Talking-up Scotland 
What about Queen of the South?
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I had them in then remembered Partick are easier for Falkirk to beat.
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Will sumo wrestling be a required element of the new fitness regime under Kris B?
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Oooh harsh. Great goal scorer.
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K.B. most certainly is a great goal scorer. I think he was possibly booked once – most unfairly – possibly at Aberdeen – when he joined in the jokey cries from the crowd of ‘sumo – sumo’ and then took up a sumo-pose with a big smile on his face – Bringing a bit of good natured entertainment to the crowd and he got into trouble for it – Scottish footba’ can be a bit crazy at times. (well – when I say ‘at times’ I really mean ‘all the time’!)
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