The Scottish Conservatives spokesperson for Education and the Undead has accused the Scottish Government of abject failure in not creating a single ‘Zombie Academy School’ in Scotland. England has surged ahead with ‘hundreds of them.’ BBC Scotland’s fearless Disclosure team has found that there are no Academy Schools at all, never mind Zombie ones, in Scotland.
Head of BBC Scotland since the recent Zombie invasion of Pacific Quay, Jackie Bird (above), said: ‘Gnnnaaaauuushhhhgnnnnnarrrr!’ but after sniffing him thoroughly, would not eat the Conservative spokesperson.
What is a Zombie Academy School?
In the Guardian yesterday:
‘53,000 pupils in limbo after rise in ‘zombie’ academy schools. Rising numbers of pupils in England are being taught in state schools that have been left to drift for months or even years without established management, according to figures obtained by Labour. It estimated that more than 50,000 pupils are currently attending academies in England that have been unable to join a multi-academy trust or find a sponsor, leading the opposition to claim that the government’s flagship schools’ improvement policy is in tatters. The figures are an increase on the 40,000 pupils trapped in 64 similar “zombie schools” uncovered by a Guardian investigation 16 months ago, suggesting that the Department for Education (DfE) is still struggling to find willing sponsors.’