Tories urge Reporting Scotland to do something about homicide rate in Scotland as it declines 39% since FM Salmond came to power


As homicide in England and Wales surges by 14% to 739 last year and falls in Scotland, leading Conservatives in the North Britain Branch are worried that this could reflect badly on the UK tory government and, by proxy, on them.

Reporting Scotland reporters been instructed to remember just who hands out the honours and to find a way of representing these trends in a way more conducive to Unionist sympathies.

In response to a Freedom of information request, TuS can reveal:

Between 2016-17 and 2017-18, the number of homicide cases recorded by the police in Scotland decreased by 5% from 62 to 59 This is the joint lowest number of recorded homicide cases for a single twelve-month period since 1976, the first year for which comparable data are available. Over the ten-year period from 2008-09 to 2017-18, the number of homicide cases in Scotland fell by 39% (38 cases) from 97 to 59. Glasgow City accounted for over one third (34%) of this decrease. In 2017-18, almost one fifth (11) of the 59 national recorded homicide cases occurred within Glasgow City.


With 11 times the population, England and Wales should have, all things being equal, 649 homicides rather than 739.

TuS can also reveal that BBC Scotland have launched a staff consultation with a view to find creative ways of making Scotland seem just as dangerous as England and Wales. Early responses include:

‘Dark tourism in Glasgow falls dramatically due to reduced violence’

‘Migrant murderers expected to come over here to exploit gaps in supply’

‘Scheming spouses unable to find assassins at a reasonable price.’

‘Scottish crime writers bemoan lack of real crimes they can copy’

TuS readers are invited to come up with other ideas which we can pass on to Pacific Quay



4 thoughts on “Tories urge Reporting Scotland to do something about homicide rate in Scotland as it declines 39% since FM Salmond came to power

  1. William Henderson January 25, 2019 / 9:54 am

    OK, John. You’re on!

    “Scottish Tourism Boom Linked To Decline of Venezuelan Economy”

    “Saltire Coat on Dog Led to Park Disturbance in Dundee”

    “Under the SNP Most Children Born in Scotland Are Male”

    “SNP Leadership Suspected of Opposition to Tory/DUP Supply Agreement”

    “Scottish Government Claims ‘No Knowledge’ of Leak of Scotch Whisky Recipe to Ukraine in FoI Answer Failure”

    Must stop there. My remaining neuron has started to ache again. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Finnmacollie January 25, 2019 / 12:24 pm

    Pigeons Blamed for decline in Scotland’s Murder Rate

    Scotland Exports 4 Times as many Murderers to England as part of UK Single Market.

    On a related topic, since ditching the beeb we have taken to listening to LBC. Yesterday we were listening to Eddie Mair when he presented a piece on the rising crime figures (in particular homicide) in “the country”. He even interviewed an English Justice Minister, whose name I never caught, who reported on the rise in the murder figures “in Britain”

    She who must be obeyed ‘phoned the station, but by the time she got through the said Eddie Mair had moved on to another subject. However she did ask the researcher she spoke to to seek a clarification on air that the crime figures quoted referred only to England and Wales. Eddie’s programme finished without clarification but the 6pm news bulletin which followed had changed the headline from simply “crime figures” to “crime figures for England and Wales”

    I’m not suggesting this single call was instrumental in changing the news headline – there may have been hunners of “Irate from Scotland” callers for all we know. But……one small step etc.

    Liked by 4 people

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