Deadly pigeon fungus droppings found at all Scottish hospitals!


Deadly pigeon droppings collected by Professor Robertson near Ayr’s new hospital

In response to BBC Scotland’s pigeon expose at the Southern General, the TuS disclosure team contacted 1 000 of its readers to carry out investigations into the presence of the fungus at other Scottish hospitals.

Evidence for peer reviewer that TuS has a reliable sample available to it.

Wearing scarves, soaked in Brut, around their faces and Mr Gloves rubber gloves, sometimes accompanied by retired chemistry teachers, almost all (67%) found evidence that patients in all Scottish hospitals are at grave risk from these deadly pigeons and their doings. This confirms the 2014 findings of Dr Jagit Singh, Director of Environmental Building Solution Ltd suggesting pigeon infestation in all public buildings including, presumably, Pacific Quay:

In keeping with the high standards of research methodology demanded by TuS Head of Ethics, Professor Robertson, all of the poo dropping samples will be passed to BBC Scotland’s news supremo, Sarah Smith, for peer-review.

Sarah, scion of the Smith dynasty rulers of BBCLabourland, at her crowning ceremony as Princess of News and Current Affairs

The troubled past of Ayr University Hospital

Like the Southern General, Ayr’s new state-of-the-art hospital campus has been plagued with problems from the start. See these shocking stories:


Oooooh…must vote Tory!




13 thoughts on “Deadly pigeon fungus droppings found at all Scottish hospitals!

  1. Alasdair Macdonald January 22, 2019 / 9:33 am

    A nice debunking!

    I note your use of the term ‘almost all’ to describe 67%. I take it this is ‘BBC Guidelines’ The Scottish Education Department defined ‘almost all’ as >95%, ‘most’ was >75% and ‘a majority’ was >50%. What would be the BBC equivalents? Probably a single instance constitutes a ‘majority’ and “merr than wan’ will be ‘almost all’.

    Liked by 2 people

    • johnrobertson834 January 22, 2019 / 10:52 am

      Yes thanks. BBC guidelines adaptable to ideological circumstances. Only three of my team responded giving 68% as Fat Boab was one of the three.


  2. William Henderson January 22, 2019 / 9:59 am

    Crystal ball time for future headlines. How about:

    “95 year old doo-keeper lynched by angry mob in Glasgow street”, or

    “Fungus carrying starlings from Russia found in Glasgow park” or

    “Haz-Mat suits to be provided for people who must travel within 1 kilometre of George Square”

    I’ll stop there……Don’t wish to make life too easy for the 4th estate! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • johnrobertson834 January 22, 2019 / 10:54 am

      Good ones. Seriously though irresponsible reporting can be fatal, in this case for doos and doo-keepers. Call Duncan Ferguson’s Doo-lover Protection Services.


  3. Contrary January 22, 2019 / 11:15 am

    I know you are all having a great time with pigeon poo, I enjoyed typing it into the search engine myself (that’s my radical side), but you should be aware that most of the Cryptococcus species live in the soil too…

    It’s just one of those things that are everywhere, but will only adapt to infection when the body is susceptible…. wash your hands!!

    I suppose the reports are to tell us what a waste of time building a shiny new hospital was… Oh! And I hadn’t thought of the Russian angle – well spotted William, must be Russian birds that are spreading this new (ancient, ubiquitous) terrible (not great) disease.

    Is that a true headline? The the one with the rusty hacksaw? You wouldn’t think that would be very hygienic would you?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Donald McGregor January 22, 2019 / 11:29 am

    I’ve given up trying to follow this sh1t story.

    Meantime, I am discombobulated to see that BBC UK is reporting employment reaching a ‘record high’ whilst BBC shortbread reports that Scottish unemployment has reached a ‘record low’

    I despair, not at these trifling presentational biases, but that my loved ones shrug and think I’m paranoid in complaining about them.

    How the hell will I ever get them shaken from their stupor? For within the answer to that question lies success in the next push for independence – whether that be by referendum (boo) or parliamentary declaration (hurrah)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Contrary January 22, 2019 / 11:36 am

      Keep repeating that they are liars (even if that isn’t strictly correct). We know how well repetition works eh? So even if its just the weather report, ask where they got the info, and if it’s the bbc just say you wouldn’t believe a word of it…

      It’s just a simplification to make an impact, and really, if you can’t trust their reporting, why bother trying to disentangle the whole mess of it – so label it a lie and if anyone challenges you, you can give a few examples of untrustworthiness – no point in long winded explanations until they are going to listen after all. Anyway, just an idea.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Contrary January 22, 2019 / 11:30 am

    Instead of pigeon poo crises, maybe our good old bbc should be usefully informing people of support and funding that’s available?

    Carers are often isolated so they maybe need a decent broadcasting service more that most.

    Instead of reporting on the latest terrible terrible occurrence (where did they find the one guy that complained about the pigeon poo? I mean, it shouldn’t have been ignored, but usually you need a few complaints to get things moving…) why aren’t they telling us what is actually happening? The dissemination of information is so very poor in this country – you would think they would be able to report actual things that are useful to people without it interfering with their BritNat stance.

    That is one of the interesting things though, eh? It would not have taken that much, say, for example, sticking to the actual treaty of union, for Scotland to think things were okay enough (being spineless we’d have put up with it), but then westminster can’t even do democracy properly, and it has degenerated to not being able to even pretend to be able to. Anyway, things have always been and always will be intolerable while we are tied in with westminster rule in any form. Ah, I’m digressing – what I was going to say, is they can’t seem to see that actually being positive and supporting makes them seem okay, the constant shitty reporting just gives us more reason to despise what we are part of.

    I saw somewhere that the DWP has spent £4 billion EXTRA on ensuring disabled people suffer… great cost cutting there guys.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Contrary January 22, 2019 / 7:14 pm

      Well, that’s outrageous, you can get a pack of 10 new hacksaw blades from pound stretcher for about a quid, what cheapskates.


  6. William Henderson January 22, 2019 / 6:36 pm

    I see that the BBC’s national news web site is now featuring the pigeon droppings affair. It turns out that the fungal infection may have been contributory to the death of a child patient at the Southern General. For this we should all be sad. Sympathy to the parents of the youngster is very much in order.

    On England BBC the article is helpful and informative. On Scotland BBC a full account of actions taken as stated by Jean Freeman is given – and thorough it certainly is. However, the Scottish narrative ends on a very negative series of political quotes such as this from Ms Wells of the Scottish Tories:

    “Scottish Conservative MSP Annie Wells, who represents Glasgow, said this was “simply not the kind of scenario that should be unfolding in Scotland in the 21st century, and absolutely not at such an expensive and newly-built facility”.

    To my mind a shortage of any sense of proportion is apparent here. This whole episode has been used nakedly for the purpose of smearing the institutions of today’s Scotland. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling disgust at this heartless exploitation of a family tragedy.


  7. Contrary January 22, 2019 / 7:26 pm

    Annie Wells. Hmm. Mentioning how new and expensive the facility is. Hmm. No obvious plots there are there.

    If we take this example (is there actually any proven link to the pigeon poo and the fungus getting inside? – maybe they need to put sterilising foot troughs at the doors, you’d think they’d be wise anyway, like we had during foot and mouth, d’ye remember that?) and compare it to the deaths of disabled people directly caused by the UK government’s welfare policies, I wonder which would make the most dramatic horrific story,,,

    Which begs the question, why are we hearing about one and not the other?

    And now the water is off in the entire west end of glasgow, huge amount of flooding up at the water mains burst in bearsden apparently. Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink. Get it sorted Scottish Water!


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