I have a plan!
As the Scottish Labour Party in Scotland loses support to the Scottish Tories and to the SNP, attracted by unionist loyalty on the one wing and ‘The Real McKay’ progressive taxation on the other, its leader plans to abandon progressive politics to the SNP and to outflank the Tories on the extreme right. It’s basically a further extension of the Blair plan which was so successful in 1997.
The Kenneth Williams lookalike, Richard Leonard, supported by a gang of likeminded colleagues such as Andy Kerr and Jim Dempster, with the shock Brown Boilersuits from the GMB, on the streets, plans to ‘clean-up’ the Party by forcing out muslims, catholics, LGBTs and jews. Hindus will be allowed, on a technicality over rights to symbolism. Note the GMB was formerly the German-style Master-bakers of Britain union until, like the German Shepherd, their name became unpopular before WWI. While current GMB official, Rhea Wolfson, is thought to have a good name to lead the Brown Boilersuits and was effective in the recent Operation Brassneck, other undisclosed factors will, of necessity, lead to her departure.
Once the party has become properly WASPy, new policies such as ‘British Jobs for British Workers!’, based on the words of former Labour PM, Gordon Brownshirt, and Ian Paisley’s ‘No pot pourri here!’ will be presented to the voters.
Stage 2 of the plan will be full merger with the DUP in Northern Ireland to further strengthen the movement’s tough as schist discipline. The DUP’s current leader has promised to stay on after the merger and her name change to Arbeitistgut Voerster.
Stage 3 of the plan will be adoption of the Old Testament as a manifesto and the singing of Onward Christian Soldiers at conference.
Polls have already indicated that the new LDUP will have some success. Though it may actually strengthen their hated enemies the ‘Separatists’ as minorities and women flee, its hard-right policies will attract many Tories (Murder Fraser?) and its presence on the streets, is expected to keep the Lib Dems nervously behind their curtains.
Expert on anything you care to ask, Professor Johann von Robertskinweiner, now at the Universidad Catholica in Uruguay, was consulted but had to be taken away quickly, shouting:
‘Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler!….go on ban me! I double dare you………..aaaaaaaaaa’