Richard Leonard Richard the Lionheart IV, Earl of torbay
Labour’s colonial office in Scotland, has reported the anger of their leader as he struggles to visit his new Devonshire estate in the middle of rail chaos in South-West England. He said:
‘Passengers from Paddington beared the worst of these delays, the worst I’ve known since I was named as the heir to Richard the Lionheart IV, Earl of Torbay, yesterday. Humza Yousaf and Scotrail have failed to take action to stop a test train between London Paddington and Bristol causing damage to overhead powerlines in the Hanwell area of Ealing.’
Reporting Scotland have announced:
‘Flooding caused more train delay, in August 2000 but Scotrail cannot guarantee it will not happen again!’
The newly anointed Sir Richard Leonard of Torbay has said he will abdicate his title of Labour Leader and campaign for greater equality in the House of Lords. Anas Sarwar has promised to ask his mum to pay her workers the living wage if they let him be the new Labour Leader.
Humza Yousaf has promised to pass on Leonard’s comments to the current transport minister and to confirm his readiness to nationalise South-Western Railway.
Talking-up Scotland 
The likeness between Dick Leonard and Dick Plantagenet in the pictures above is truly remarkable. Puts one in mind of the wonderful Goldwyn Girl Virginia Mayo’s famous line of dialogue from the film ‘King Richard and the Crusades’ (1954) – in which – as Lady Edith she utters “Fight, fight, fight! That’s all you think of, Dick Plantagenet!” – We now know that it was her St. Louis accent that was making us mistake a different word entirely for the word ‘fight’.
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You’re not old enough to have seen that!
We do off course have a Dick Institute in Killie.
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When I was but a lad in the Anderston of the 40s and 50s, which had some of the most squalid housing anywhere in Scotland, there was a narrow street called Richard Street, which had more broken windows than anything else, the residents, with killing irony said they lived in Dick Terrace.
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