Richard Leonard Richard the Lionheart IV, Earl of torbay
Labour’s colonial office in Scotland, has reported the anger of their leader as he struggles to visit his new Devonshire estate in the middle of rail chaos in South-West England. He said:
‘Passengers from Paddington beared the worst of these delays, the worst I’ve known since I was named as the heir to Richard the Lionheart IV, Earl of Torbay, yesterday. Humza Yousaf and Scotrail have failed to take action to stop a test train between London Paddington and Bristol causing damage to overhead powerlines in the Hanwell area of Ealing.’
Reporting Scotland have announced:
‘Flooding caused more train delay, in August 2000 but Scotrail cannot guarantee it will not happen again!’
The newly anointed Sir Richard Leonard of Torbay has said he will abdicate his title of Labour Leader and campaign for greater equality in the House of Lords. Anas Sarwar has promised to ask his mum to pay her workers the living wage if they let him be the new Labour Leader.
Humza Yousaf has promised to pass on Leonard’s comments to the current transport minister and to confirm his readiness to nationalise South-Western Railway.