Breaking News: Anas Sarwar to take on leading role in Holby City

johnrobertson834

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As NHS England faces a humanitarian crisis, Holby City’ writers have dreamed up a dramatic scenario where a handsome young Scottish surgeon is appointed to speed up operations. Based on a reference from his millionaire father’s private surgeon, the young surgeon is appointed. He makes impressive early progress and bed-blocking in Holby City Hospital falls dramatically but, tragically, it soon transpires that all of the patients operated on die within a few days as a result of major errors in the hurried surgery.

Anas Sarwar was identified as the ideal candidate for this dramatic new role after BBC Drama talent scouts spotted his two recent appearances on Reporting Scotland where his indignant attacks on the Scottish Government’s management of NHS Scotland left barely a dry eye in the living rooms of Scotland. Particularly impressive was Sarwar’s ability to work convincingly despite quite badly written scripts.

On the 5th of January, Sarwar reported angrily on the deaths of nearly 700 patients, over a period of nineteen months, while awaiting discharge. Despite the BBC script lacking percentages or figures from previous periods to enable the viewer to judge the seriousness of the accusations, Sarwar was unhesitating in his condemnation of the results as ‘shocking’. Inspired, he even went on to discount government evidence that bed blocking was falling by reminding viewers that these deaths could have been of their own parents or grandparents. You’ll understand why Holby wanted him when he can touch hearts like that.

Only two days later, on the 7th of January, he was back, still mad as hell, to tell us that an average of 21 operations were cancelled every day last year. Again the script was a bit limited and we had to get a real expert to remind us that 900 operations are carried out every day and that sometimes surgeons get ill themselves or have to be transferred to more life-threatening cases. Needless to say nobody mentioned that 21 cancellations works out at  only 2.33% of the total 900.

I was deeply impressed by Sarwar acting it. I wish him all the best in Holby City.

15 thoughts on “Breaking News: Anas Sarwar to take on leading role in Holby City”

  1. broadbield January 8, 2017 / 6:39 pm

    Now, I don’t have TV so can’t comment on his suitability for this role, though undoubtedly his acting skill is right up there with the best of the soap cast. How about Hawkeye (since he has a keen eye for figures) in M.A.S.H.?

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    • johnrobertson834 January 8, 2017 / 8:51 pm

      Ah M.A.S.H…..I loved that show. Still have a 7 incher in the attic somewhere – the single of Suicide is Easy

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      • Bryan Weir January 9, 2017 / 9:55 am

        Wasn’t it Suicide is Painless? :o)

        (Love that song)

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  2. Finnmacollie January 8, 2017 / 6:51 pm

    If you released this post as a Labour press release BBC Reporting Far North of Britain would lead with it.

    I hear he has also been doing auditions on STV news – assisted by ambulance chasing jornos.

    If we were to believe the News Where You Are we should think that Scotland had the shittiest public services in the world. Worst health service, worst police, worst education, worst transport (no doubt they will eventually get round to the Fire Service)

    I am beginning to feel like Winston Smith.

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    • johnrobertson834 January 8, 2017 / 8:47 pm

      Good point. Why haven’t they done the Fire Service? I’ll tweet it to BBC and see what they make of it.

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    • johnrobertson834 January 8, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      When you wrote Winston Smith, i thought you meant Winston from Still Game then I remembered 1984.

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    • johnrobertson834 January 9, 2017 / 10:50 am

      Fair point…..Labour politician with a millionaire father/governor in Pakistan and a boy at fee-paying school – true socialist?

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    • Clydebuilt January 8, 2017 / 11:20 pm

      Has anyone noticed how rough that chain is on the machine the surgeon is holding.

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      • broadbield January 9, 2017 / 7:51 am

        It’s also too loose – it’ll come off first time he tries to amputate a leg and make a real mess. No protective gear either – shouldn’t be allowed.

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    • Bryan Weir January 9, 2017 / 9:58 am

      Sorry “play the evil”

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